National security officials are used to shaking off absurd conspiracy theories, but the latest rumor that’s gripped MAGA world just hits different.
The claims by Fox News and far-right influencers that pop star Taylor Swift is part of a Pentagon “psychological operation” to get President Joe Biden reelected, and somehow rig the Super Bowl to benefit Kansas City Chiefs tight end (and Swift’s boyfriend) Travis Kelce, has been met with forehead slaps in the national security world.
“The absurdity of it all boggles the mind,” said one senior administration official, granted anonymity because they were not authorized to comment publicly on the matter. “It feels like one of those ‘tell me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist, without telling me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist’ memes.”
Nah fuck em. Let them freak out. Fucking moron shitcunts.
“Shitcunts”… I may steal this. 😂
Really? You couldn’t come up with something like that yourself?
I’m not that creative.
I’m gonna steal this.
Remember, a lot of young conservative men were convinced Taylor Swift was a white nationalist who posted with them on 4chan.
When she started telling people to go vote (she didnt even say for a specific party, but just telling people to vote is enough to convince them you’re a democrat) they took that as Taylor Swift betraying them.
So much of what conservatives engage with is completely made up and exists only inside their own heads.
These are some of the same rocket surgeons that believe(d) that Hillary was using a pizza parlor with no basement to run an international pedo ring out of the basement of the pizza parlor.
Not really known for their application of reason and logic.
I mean, those same young conservative men are convinced that Taylor Swift and Lorde both have nudes posted on 4chan, because of the “tits or gtfo” rule.
Note that the speculation has existed since Swift and Lorde were both like 16.
High voter turnout typically means Democrat victory, as the only people who make sure to vote EVERY election is the paranoid “Keepin’ up with the Jonesses” suburban America types
America wtf
Fuck if I know dude. I thought we had hit a low with bush. Then we went and elected a black man and holy ever living fuck did that break right-wing people. Just absolutely broke their fragile little minds and here we are.
You guys need to elect a black man with a heavy inner-city accent who enacts serious change so you can break them all the way once and for all.
Or a black woman!
Fuck, if only! Or a gay black man who does drag as a hobby.
He smokes cannabis daily as he pardons himself with every puff.
Ru Paul would be a terrible president.
Disagree! Caffeine enema days could mean leaps and bounds in policy foreign and domestic!
If they can negotiate on foreign policy and domestic policy, then they can work it.
Also a furry
I was about to make a joke about President Camacho but then, I remembered, that fucker, that HORRIBLE PARODY OF A PRESIDENT, is so much better then what we got with Trump. Camacho saw some serious shit was going on and said ‘holy fuck lets let the smart guy fix this.’
He recognized and openly admitted to his own shortcomings.
Camacho/Not Sure 2024!
He gets my vote just for that bitchin trike
40 years of crippled public education and a media landscape owned by the wealthy elites that use it to push anything to distract us from the fact that our greatest enemy are billionaires.
So glad I’m not American. I can view all this like a reality TV show.
Except if the Cheeto Benito starts some shit somewhere in the world due to his excellent diplomatic skills god forbid he gets elected again, pretty sure we are all in the shitter.
until we drag the whole western world into a real fucking shit show. lets not forget how close tony blair and george w bush were when it came to handling iraq
Yeah, except most reality TV is 99% made-up bullshit that just impacts nothing outside the “participants” and water cooler gossip.
Except Love on the Spectrum. Thats just wholesome AF.
I honestly envy you.
Yeah but… ummm…you’re on the OTHER end of all our guns. No one is safe from our craziness.
Britain is effectively the 51st state so we’re always behind your guns. :p
As a half Brit half American, Britain really hasn’t been really pulling many Ws recently either
Do you drink tea or throw it in your nearest harbour?
Say “colour”…
It’s paradoxical, I throw the tea and it just spins in place in mid air
Also it’s obviously spelled C̴͉͎̘̱͙̙̣̱̜̲̖̎̂̋̔ȍ̶̻͕̬̞̰̫̙̩̯̤̳́͊̒̚͜ͅl̷̨̹̺̳͔͉͇͎̻̐̐͌̽̾̀̉͐̈́̆͗̎̚̕œ̸̢͉̜̽͛̅̚ư̸̪͍̂͐̀̀̍r̶͈̮̲͉̀̓̏̋̈́͑̌̔̽͊́͘͝͠
Doesn’t stop me being able to laugh at America. If you’re half British you should know one of our defining traits is self-deprecation. Britains Ls are eternal and everlasting and I will laugh at them all. But Americas - oh fuck yeah. They gimme a hearty laugh too!
How does someone be half American? Where do you pledge your allegiance?
I pledge my allegience to queen Frang and her mighty state of Hysteria
Until it reaches you in the form of a global economy collapse.
Of course, China could be the savior, but would that really be a win?
Why would I care about Chinese hegemony? Sinophobia is more of a Yank fear. I really couldn’t give a shit.
You should. We all need an at least semi-democratic country at the top. We need the non-democratic authoritarian kind of governance to be seen to fail. Again. If American fail, we need Europe to start punching it’s weight even more. And unfortunately the crazy right (no doubt helped by enemies of freedom) is on the rise across Europe. Least in Britain, it looks like the nightmare might be over this election. It will take years to undo the economic and social damage they have done though.
Edit: English
enemies of freedom
Oh dear. :/
Fine, I’ll be explicit. Russia, China, etc. The authoritarian powers. They do want success democratic countries as it gives their citizens ideas.
MAGA crowd, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
One might even say,
That Billy Madison quote applies well here.
That Billy Madison quote applies well to pretty much anything conservatives say.
It should be set to music and become anthemic for them (or us i guess 🤣)
If we’re being super loose with it (and “we” are) you could literally use the opening theme for Billy Madison and it could sort of work out lol
How amazing would it be if they could get Biden or Dems in one chamber to say this to their repub terrorists?
You could’ve just said incorrect…
Removed by mod
That is quite the unfortunate typo.
Yay, at least someone noticed.
Are you thinking of the fairness doctrine? That only ever applied to broadcast TV, not cable TV like Fox News.
The reason for the distinction is that broadcast TV is over radio waves that anyone can receive with off the shelf equipment. The FCC has a lot of jurisdiction over that and can regulate what can be shown. Cable TV is relatively free of that oversight. Legally speaking, they could show hardcore porn at 5pm. They won’t because their advertisers would hate it, but they legally could.
Fox news classified themselves as entertainment so that law didn’t apply to them.
It would never have applied to them.
Removed, “24 hours Jews cycle”, really?
News cycle, NEWS cycle, not Jews cycle. It’s a typo and I’m rather amazed that nobody thought of this.
My auto correct keeps changing news to Jews now btw, no idea why. I am not anti-Semitic, I have nothing against Jews or Palestinians or Mexicans or Caucasians or African Americans for God’s sake. It’s just a random auto correct issue. I’ll try and fix it, can you undelete this?
If that were your only problematic comment, I’d ALMOST buy that excuse. But it’s not your only problematic comment.
May I have your attention, please
Sadly they’ll take the “Suspiciously specific denial” (How they’d see it) as confrimation
I love that the Pentagon is referring to dank memes.
Reality really is stranger than fiction.
I’d bet the Pentagon has a huge presence on all fringe forums and memeboards.
Just think of all the tax dollars wasted paying law enforcement to surf 4chan… It’s funny because you know that’s a real job…
I don’t think it’s a waste of money. There’s plenty of pedophiles sharing CSAM on 4chan and probably a terrorist or two as well.
Yeah, at least 4chan pretends to moderate posts these days. Back when it first started, it was the fucking Wild West of the internet. You’d be scrolling, and see naked 13 year olds getting pounded by sweaty old dudes with their faces blacked out, right below terrorist beheading videos and memes about triforcing. It was like if LimeWire had a stream of consciousness.
Loved those triforce threads man.
Of all the violence, media manipulation, lies, a LITERAL coup attempt, and what the pentagon decides to crack down in is Fox slandering A FUCKING POP STAR?!
This world is insane, it has been for a while now.
edit: to stem the hate. I have nothing against Taylor Swift, good on her for telling people to vote. I don’t get her music but then I’m not her target demographic.
The Qtards should be treated like Al Qaeda or ISIL operating in the United States. All their communications should be monitored. They should be infiltrated and any time one of them make threats or start making plans to do anything illegal, as many as possible are arrested, locked up and embroiled in the justice system as much as possible - prison time, time in court, etc.
Some of them very likely are foreign intelligence operatives attempting to influence locally.
There are more incidents of them killing innocents over dumb conspiracies. Like that son and his dad being beheaded.
?
Or just declare them as the Clear And Present Danger that they are and treat them exactly how union labor was treated by the military and East Indian Fruit Company
Just count any retweet, thumbs up etc to the threats and you’ll round up thousands at a time I bet.
Why not just give them the Al Qaeda or ISIL treatment and send a drone to blow up their house?
Some would say “what about innocent bystanders in the house?” but the chances of others in the household not being exactly the same are miniscule
“They add that she’s not, in fact, part of a psychological operation to sway voters to Joe Biden.”
MAGA - “Yeah, but that’s just what they WOULD SAY! THIS PROVES IT!!!”
This is completely sarcastic but it’s so, so, SO dumb that this is in fact the sentiments of the ppl on the new the_donald website. Smh
These people just can’t handle anything, just anything, not being exactly as they like it, and if it isn’t, it has to be some sort of conspiracy.
That’s my dad. Trump is a god to him, and anything negative said about him is a liberal plot to stop him from his patriotic duty. The cognitive dissonance that man shows is baffling!
My stepfather is like that. I even tried to use his own logic to help him see most of these conspiracies are dumb; “you said yourself that the gov’t is incompetent. So how can they pull off a conspiracy at this scale if they can’t run the country?” - stuff like that.
It doesn’t matter, he’s fully drank the Kool-Aid, so I just keep him at arm’s distance now.
Rules of fascism
#3: “Action being beautiful in itself, it must be taken before, or without, any previous reflection. Thinking is a form of emasculation.”
#4: Disagreement is treason.
#8: The enemy is both strong and weak.
That’s so sad
Yeah. We no longer talk. I had to block him from calling/emailing me.
I had to block my dad’s emails for awhile. I just couldn’t believe they just kept coming and coming. And while trying to be a good son and available should he need me, I just had to risk going no contact for awhile. Now I basically gray rock everything. 🫤
Thank goodness my Dad never went down that path, but honestly if he did I might just punch him straight in the face.
Violence is bad and you should rethink your attitude towards people on the Kool-Aid. Anyway go ahead and explain me the paradox of intolerance like I haven’t seen it a thousand times, I don’t care.
I need to advise you sir that your half-arsed attempt at virtuous shaming has utterly failed. Please return to your seat
“Violence is bad” is pretty basic stuff mate
Childishly so.
At this point it almost seems like more than that. It’s like they need to manufacture some outrage to keep everyone angry about something.
Guys the best quarterback in the league made it to the superbowl again, it’s a conspiracy against us. No other way to explain this.
Also some of them say, “the 49ers need to win to save the country”…but like the big conspiracy is that Taylor is supposed to make a half-time endorsement of Joe Biden… So like, how would either team eventually winning the game have any impact on the half-time show?
And now that there’s a denial, from a “senior administration official,” it’s proof-positive of a vast conspiracy. “Why would they deny something that’s not real?”
This feels like one of those things /b/ started as a joke, and a few echo chambers took it seriously, and the media assumed or “assumed” it was far more widespread than it was. At least, I hope so
At work I have a regular that comes into the office and she spouts conspiracies like these and started talking about Taylor Swift vaccines and the deep state in the last week or so, so there are definitely a few true believers.
Taylot Swift vaccines
These will never work. She’s just too infectious.
You just gotta shake it off. (Yes, I hate myself)
That pun. I knew you were trouble when you walked in.
Oh no doubt, no matter how insane sounding there will be believers. It’s almost always related to undiagnosed or unmedicated mental disorders with delusions as a symptom. It’s really sad that we don’t prioritize mental health more in this country.
This woman is like 75 years old, lives in a van from '89, gets healthcare from her father being in the military or something based on what she says. She definitely has undiagnosed schizophrenia based on the way she acts and the bits of past she gives out. I feel bad for her, but she comes in, destroys our bathrooms to take a shower, then when she gets barred from using our restrooms, gets upset claiming she has no memory of causing the mess and tells us she will have to inform her doctors if that’s the case. It seems all the more tragic that she lives this way but has access to the things that could help her, but chooses not to. She says she lives in the van to save money, but she has a full retirement account. There’s a military base with her father’s name on it.
Everyday, someone new is out to get her. Government, vaccines, Democrats, CNN, George Soros. The right has effectively weaponized mental illness on a national scale.
Damn Taylor. TIL
There have always been sports fans who think that when their team loses, it’s because the ref is on the take. Now you have legalized sports gambling everywhere, with non-stop ads, and official NFL partnerships. Combine that with dozens of hyper slo-mo cameras covering every angle when a ref misses a call, and the conspiracy that the NFL is rigged has become more common the last two years.
Without getting into how absolutely stupid that is, it’s only a few more leaps in logic to get to where they seem to be: they keep showing Swift during games, because her fans tune in to see her, ergo, they’ll want her to be on screen during the biggest have of the year! The NFL wants the Chiefs to go to the super bowl. (I bartend, and I’ve had non-maga people saying this to me.) Add in the paranoia that comes with facism, and boom, a new MAGA grand conspiracy is born.
There have always been sports fans who think that when their team loses, it’s because the ref is on the take.
It doesn’t help that this has actually happened though like with the NBA in the late 90s/early aughts.
Listen, I’m a lifelong football player, coach and fan. If you’re trying to tell me the game isn’t rigged for the Chiefs to be in the Superbowl I’m telling you you’re the conspiracy Nutter!
Signed Your biggest Baltimore Ravens fan.
There actually is a confirmed government plot to keep the Bills from winning the Super Bowl, though. It was confirmed in that documentary from the 90s, “The X-Files”.
Oh fuck watching that FG go wide right the other week gave me flash backs to nam.
Woof. I felt so bad for Flowers on 1/28. They kept zooming in on him when he was rattled and you could see how bad it was getting to him.
He made rookie mistakes after not playing like a rookie all season. The offense shit the bed the second half, wasn’t just one guy Flowers doesn’t deserve as much hate as he’s getting. Deserves a good share though.
The entire alt right movement was exactly that. It was a joke on b that did this.
Like I used to think that enders game was stupid when it came to the weird internet forum starting a movement and influencing politics but that has literally happened in real life lol
Except that in Ender’s Game they used weird internet forums to actually improve public discourse and awareness.
Reality turns out to be much dumber than fiction sometimes. I’d say often but there’s a lot of porn.
Sure but what’s your point? I’m saying it was weird to me that the author thought that was realistic or possible. And it happened in real life, proving that it was possible lol
Oh, I read Enders Game in high school and took the opposite view from you. I believed that the Internet would raise public discourse by elevating intelligence and empathy over our baser instincts. Then we all, including me, proved that wrong.
Optimist, I guess. Not sure what to do with that side of me now.
Right? I remember when the_Donald started on reddit, I thought it was hilarious and just people making fun of Trump and behaving like over the top cultists. And in the beginning it obviously was only just a joke. And then it got real and people really thought what was written there was the truth. People for banned and an echo chamber formed.
Was it the same on /b/? Did anyone experience the same as me back then? I really wanna know if all of this came from dumb internet humour…
I know people used to post the updates for Q on there. That’s why its called Qanon. Because the were from 4chan and the posts were anonymous.
Trump’s massive inferiority complex and narcissism is also driving it
You took the words right out of my neurolink embedded keyboard…
This really is one of the most amusing panics they’ve had in recent years.
Until someone shoots up a concert again
Well sure if you want to take morbid reality into account. Yet they wonder why people call for gun laws when nutcases pull things like that.
“They are trying to take away our right to shoot up a concert!” -Q cultists probably
But that’s exactly what they would say if it were a psy-op, isn’t it?
I’m joking and I wish that were obvious, but nowadays it probably isn’t.
Seriously tho, can we go back to conspiracy theories about bigfoot? It’s equally bullshit, but the worst case scenario with bigfoot conspiracy theories is that people do some more hiking to try to spot him.
I’ve always known maga people are dumber than shit, but now they’re just running the world’s worst D&D session online and on Fox.
