It’s a happy ending no matter which common meaning you choose to take from “[finish] the job”.

Take them anyway, I really don’t want to be stuck with a bunch of rapture reject crybabies. Burn me in hell forever, see if I give a shit, but don’t make me listen to them whine about it.

Makes me wonder whether they’re expecting to lose a significant number of young men for some reason over the next few years as well. Gotta start planning for replacements early.

Found one.

Crimea river, Ivan. Solve your leadership problem and maybe then I’ll give a fraction of a fuck about your feelings.

Funny how Allah didn’t stop her, I thought he’d be stronger than a young human woman.

Guy’s so repulsive, even bullets instinctively avoid him. Bad news for us and anyone standing behind him.

Typical religious wacko trying to lure in kids to be groomed and abused.

If I were in their position (and an {even bigger} asshole but that’s implied), my plan would involve claiming partial credit for defeating [Losing_Candidate]. When the new POTUS does things I don’t like, I can also get all sanctimonious and preachy about not having voted for them so my hands are clean. Best of both worlds.

If you enjoyed the book, check out the album Haunted by Poe. Anyone with a functioning radio in the 90s may have heard Angry Johnny a time or ten but she’s got some other good tracks too. Poe is the stage name of Anne Danielewski and, if the last name is familiar, that’s because she’s the House of Leaves author’s sister.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to [Community_Name] and all those impacted by these tragic events. [Community_Name] strong!

That’ll teach those sinful women for daring to have sex without their owners’ permission. Even stuff like this won’t sway the committed republicunts since they can fall back on some bullshit about “god’s plan” or find ways to turn it back on the victims of their politics.

Strong entry for an Ig Nobel Prize if nothing else.

Friend-ulums.

Could also serve casu martzu. No name change needed, it’s scary enough as-is.

Shitty thing done shittily. Still more worried about the ones who aren’t incompetent clowns but good to know that whoever’s supervising isn’t completely blind.

Arson, murder, and jaywalking.

Have you asked these colleagues what they’re hoping to gain from those certs to see why they think they’re worthwhile? Might just be people looking for a little variety in the work day if it’s something they can do on company time.

Yeah, this shower thought is awfully judgy coming from a (presumably hypothetical) killer.

All I know about the EDL is that they don’t like Muslims or hair.