Is there a limit on total footage? Does a double ended dildo count as two? Is a Christmas tree of dicks ok since it’s more than 6, but is Christian?
Need to go candelabra style with them all attached at the base.
They just need to add a way to mount it to a gun and then its not a dildo, its a gun accessory.
Well that’s one way to finally make Republicans upset about school shootings… maybe
Sounds like an interesting bump stock
Hump stock
Like a swiss-army knife. (the AI refuses to render this.)
That’s why we will always need human artists
We need a global network of connected dildos. I propose to call it „Interdildo“
Does a straw have two holes or one hole?
Straws have one hole.
Is your mouth and anus one hole?
Yes, and don’t forget to give your granny a kiss next time you visit.
Yes
I dunno, are the Christmas tree dicks circumcised?
I assume a menorah of dildos is out.
Yay! More small government and freedom!
The great Republican war on orgasms have begun.
They’ve been stopping orgasms from happening for a long time.
Begun? Texas has always had a war on dildos.
I don’t know how to make a quote line but this one stood out to me and made me laugh.
“Parents do not consent to their children being exposed to obscene devices while shopping for toothpaste.”
What stores sell toothpaste next to adult toys?
My local supermarket has sex toys on upper shelves in the family planning section, which is in the healthcare department. They don’t look like dongs, so people shouldn’t recognize what they are unless they know about them already. But kids might still ask their parents what that is on the shelf, and that is apparently worse than school shootings.
My Walmart has them next to the pharmacy, 2 or 3 aisles away from the toothpaste
Meijer has them on the same aisle as the deodorant
Put
before the linetest
test
test test
test
test
test test
test
test
test test
test
test
test test
test
test testicles
The Meijer I shop at regularly has vibrators in the same aisle as toothpaste, might be the next aisle over but they’re real close to each other.
I’m guessing that part is performative. I doubt there are dildos for sale at Walmart.
They sell small vibrators in discreet packaging, on the top shelf near the condoms.
Very discreet packaging indeed. I worked at Walmart for a short spell a while back and I stocked them a few times before finally I was like, “Whoa, Walmart sells sex toys!?”
I learned something new today!
My local walmart has a whole aisle, locked in a glass case. You have to go ask an employee to get your dildo for you.
Walmart absolutely sells vibrators and plugs. They’re in the section near the condoms, which does happen to be near the toothpaste/deodorant/shampoo area.
deleted by creator
Hypocrites! They do this tomfoolery but make classrooms hang up the approved lord and savior:
As long as there’s no more than 6 per student
New Exorcist reboot just dropped.
How…how are they enforcing this?
Its something to charge you with when the cops go on a fishing expedition at your house for weed or whatever else.
Its just a punishment law that cops get to use at their discretion totally fairly.
At least they can fuck themselves while they’re at it I guess
Guten Tag! Ve are from se Small Government Staffel, here to inspect your bedroom. Vere are your papers for sese?
Wouldn’t surprise me if they treat toys like Sudafed. Gotta flash your ID to buy one.
Yes. Texas bans the possession of or promoting use of more than six dildos.
It does make exceptions for people who have the multiples of the device for medical and law enforcement purposes.
Lmao. Police officers can legally use an array of didos for ‘law enforcement’.
You’ll be arrested if you cheer them on for it tho…
BUT if you can prove it’s medically necessary; you’re welcome to have a cornucopia of rubber cocks.
I think the DOJ needs to investigate how exactly the police in Texas have been using dildos in the performance of their duties…
“Come out with your hands up or we send in the dildos!”
Suddenly the kidnappers realised they’d brought guns to a dildo fight and surrendered.
I have loose bowels, I need 7 dildos to plug it and stop my anal leakage.
UHC denied my claim for my medically necessary dildo.
Why are so many people using them in Walmart?
People like to sample the produce as they shop, granted it’s usually a bag of crisps or a handful of grapes but it’s the same… ballpark.
Long queues, nothing else to do……
Makes sense to me.
The One Star State is at it again. “Freedom” there is not really a thing since the government obviously owns the citizens.
Sounds like the government wants to hoard most of the dildos to go fuck themselves. 🍆
Besides banning the sale of sex toys, the Texas Obscenity Statute also specified the number of “obscene devices”—for example, dildos—a person could own: six. The number was not chosen at random, but rather because lawmakers assumed that people who owned more than six obscene devices that were identical or similar had the intent to distribute them.
Theoretically, it should be possible to have more than six obscene devices without by guilty of intending to supply them - cock ring, butt plug, fleshlight, dildo, strap-on, inflatable sheep, Ben Wa balls, nipple clamps and penis cage. All have different uses, all without intending to supply.
If supply was the concern (although I don’t know why), perhaps criminalise that not the bottom drawer of my bedside table.
Fine. I’m a defender of gun rights. No more than six or you intend to distribute. Let’s rock.
If supply was the concern (although I don’t kmoe why)
There is no crime in America greater than unapproved economic activity.
Ironic, since unrestricted economic activity is the foundation of Adam Smith’s capitalism.
Ah so it’s basically like with drugs. Once you have more than a personal amount it’s possession with intent to distribute.
A personal amount is limited to one light evening alone as well.
Also ear plugs.
Will United Healthcare cover dildos if they are for medicinal purposes?
Rofl, they were afraid for their right to bear arms instead of their right to bear dildos.
No one’s stopping them having bear dildos, just not too many of them.
So… are there like, auditors? Does the government pay someone to go around and inventory peoples’ sex toys? Do you have to register your devices? Are they serialized? Do you have to report them on your state tax return?
Who are these
peoplewhackjobs that spend so much time thinking about what other people are doing in their bedrooms?This is disrespectful to George Washington the founder of America who was mostly Dicks.
I heard he was six foot eight and weighed a fucking ton.
Link for the uninitiated - https://youtu.be/qv6OOuPI5c0
I heard that motherfucker had like… 30 god-damned dicks.
I think you’re referring to the wooden dildos he stuffed his mouth with. Back then, there was no such thing as silicone.
