• Che Banana@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Harambe sires an offspring. Covid was contained, however significant changes in social structures happened so that cross species viruses have a tougher time evolving. Mitch McConnell shat himself on the senate floor, then proclaimed his love for flamin’ hot cheetoes, then passes away. Elon Musk takes a ride on Space X, it suffers a malfunction & he burns up on reentry. Russia and China start a war, but both armies are the equivalent of an Ikea designed tank. All offensive and defensive maneuvers are so bad there are literally thousands of scholars writing doctorate thesis on them. Beer cures cancer. Universal pay is implemented worldwide, Amazon goes bankrupt. Tipping culture in the US ends. Nestlé board of trustees and executive committee are rounded up and hunted for sport by Tankies…capitalists tune in to the reality based tv show and place enough bets to wipe out world debt. Argentina finally has a sound financial footing, a robust economy, and bright future producing most of the worlds green energy needs. World temperatures stabilize and start trending towards normal as most automobiles, private jets, tankers and ocean liners are either converted to green power or scrapped. People have a healthy relationship with social media.

    …fuck