Yeah, the past 8ish months have been quite a Rollercoaster for me. I was stupid, didn’t use protection, and was only told she wasn’t on birth control a week after. The mother is 5 years older than me. I’m almost in my mid 20s and plan on staying with my parents while I finish school and work part time jobs to at least be able to support the kid financially. I don’t have the best relation with the mother, but yeah…all the more reason to be very selective about who you sleep with yall…
I’ve cried in the past few days and it’s been the first time in a while. I thought about bailing, I thought about being distant and just sending child support, and I’ve just been reading through reddit entires about parents in the same situation. There were fathers who came back into their kid’s lives and became great fathers, unrepentant deadbeats who skipped town completely, fathers forced out of their kid’s life by various factors, and those in between who were struggling with their lives and needed to fix things first or maybe couldn’t. I can’t judge the deadbeats because I came this close to being one I suppose. I was somewhat indifferent to having a child, but I guess here I am now.
My therapist & friends have been a great help in listening to me, and today, I finally have to tell my parents who are rather religious. I don’t know how or what I’ll say, but I think text. I’d be too horrified to say it with my voice and have tk hear what would be said on the phone. Seems stupid, right? I just became a father and have to raise a child for the rest of my life and I’m worried about how my mother will react to me. I plan on staying at their place until I can at least finish college, get an education, and get on my feet…
I have no intentions of moving in with the mother/ entertaining a relationship with her, but I want to try to ensure my care for the child outweighs my dislike of the mother. I feel like a total fool and a failure for putting myself in this position and I don’t know…
My mother is still asleep and just hearing her phone ringtone go off sets off so much unease in me. It feels like such a sinking feeling inside of me…
Thanks for listening, friends
Well, that’s a life changing event if there ever is one. Congratulations and good luck. However hard it may be, I think you made a good choice in willing to be in your child’s life.
As someone who has made far too many mistakes in their life I can only encourage trying to at least bring the news in person to your parents, if possible. Especially if you are planning to stay with them during the pregnancy and the beginning of your kid’s life. Make sure to tell them that you at least have something of a plan and that you are taking this seriously.
Best of luck comrade.
There is a saying in Mexico: “Un bebe trae torta bajo el brazo”. The translation of this is “A baby brings a sandwich under his arm”.
Basically, it means that babies bring fortune with their birth. In your case, I may not know how the baby will change your life but I am confident that it will certainly be positive. Life changing events can bring us closer to a strong version of ourselves.
Congrats and face life with courage, comrade!
Anything is better than nothing comrade. Do your best and be proud of that. Be open to positives and find someone to help you through what’s hard.
Wish you the best,
I mean… Abortion is always an option.
Think the girl doesn’t want one
Have you considered consulting a lawyer to see what your legal obligations are? Trying to raise a kid you don’t want with someone you don’t even have a good relationship with is just a recipe for failure – it’ll be bad for the kid and bad for you. The least bad outcome, since it sounds like she’s unwilling to abort, may be for you to surrender your rights to the child and just pay child support but not be involved at all.
well…i don’t have kids, but i only can say that you need to have strength, and try to make the best you can do with you know…try to give support to your partner in the best of your ability and try to think in how to get money and give a good upbringing to your child.
or well…you always can think about an abortion if both of you are not prepared, just another option to considerWhy did you cross out the abortion advice? If you think you shouldn’t have said it then just remove it.
OP’s probably hesitant to drop the baby.
