Oh gosh, I’m not sure I could even sift my way through that much toxic masculinity and confidently-incorrect content to even derive a coherent tldr. I guess that everyone is wrong and this 16-year-old post now only serves as a mile marker on the unfortunate decline of online courtesy?

You’re better off just watching the video linked by @fahfahfahfah@lemmy.billiam.net

That full body workout took me days to read the last time. I felt like I was watching an epic soap opera and was trying to track all the characters until I realized that they all just needed to hug and communicate better

“I know you didn’t like when I tried to sell your baby to score some meth, but if you just give me some crack, I’m sure I can think up a solution that’ll make everyone happy.”

Wow, that’s a great fucking read!

ZOMG! Hell has frozen over!

“If we were over there, we wouldn’t be here.”

Proceeds to reenact Grover’s near/far sketch

You can shoot a cat 1 to death with a handgun

I guess I’m the problem for locking in a good interest rate when they were low and not wanting to fuck myself over by moving.

Funny, I locked in a bad interest rate when they were high. I’d refinance, but I can only find “worse interest rates that are higher.”

Getting strapped to the floor of a Dragon sounds like a great plot for a space thriller

Honestly, that’s a significant improvement over the sex ed we get here in Texas.

It’s gonna be really difficult not to piss on my pants through the crevasse under the toilet seat with this guaranteed boner material

*Confused by the surprisingly modest and polite evil shrubbery. Wondering if another higher shrubbery to create a two-level effect would improve the evilness…*

Just wanted to let you know that this is probably the tenth time I’ve revisited this comment just to read it and chuckle

It’s never been about belief or faith. This goes back to the tobacco lobby when progressives were considered progressive because they followed the advice and research of experts. Conservatives couldn’t get away with doing whatever they wanted to do because progressives had facts and evidence to back up their platforms. While progressives were relying on input from third-party think tanks, conservatives invented their own think tanks by buying off professors from prestigious universities who needed more money and were willing to write bad-faith research.

Conservatives don’t believe in anything other than money, power, and self-indulgence—they just muddied the waters enough to make facts and research look questionable. Finally, when people point to facts and figures, conservatives can point to their own tainted research and pretend like they believe their own lies.

Step 6.5: Sacrifice the wrong kind of bird and now your dead ex will only dance their way to the buried treasure if you play the right kind of music

You dumb son of a bitch! That “problem” you fixed has been our job security for the past 30 years! We could have had voters arguing over that platform for another seven terms if you had left well enough alone! Now what are we supposed to use for fundraising? Ideas???

I’m waiting for someone else to do something about it. Just like everyone else

My premiums went up just looking at it!

Thanks! It’s truly a proud moment for me

You can’t just go around calling things what they are!