Bonfire Night is really just not that big a deal over here. I’d happily bet you one shiny new pence piece that he’s in the US today.

Surely you mean pic-a-nic basket?

That poor bastard yak (or whatever) wandered into the wrong canyon that day.

Ugh. Well played!

Careful, my wife grew up on the mean streets of Hampstead.

But she’s got no opinion on whether Quality Street or Rises are better which came as a surprise to me.

Good! Any civilised society should have good public toilets and good public libraries.

My missus will fight you!

Again, this is not the original, but I seem to recall seeing it in the late 90s.

And this was definitely 90s.

Cheetahs don’t have retractable claws, therefore dog.

Is he sure?

Whuuuuuu??? You should come round our place, they’re always the ones left in the bottom of the tub.

Who would bite into a Quality Street without unwrapping it first?

Damn, I was hoping to score off him.

Lovely, thank you!

I feel kink-shamed by some of these comments. I love watching a bald-headed linesman. Mmm. Nnnnnrgh!

Amazeballs!

Yes please!

You got any good recipes for a harvest like that?

He said the most effective way to tackle anti-social behaviour was probably to catch offenders in the act, something that would require more police officers.

But, he added, politicians usually prefer to opt for the “cheaper” option of increasing the severity of the punishment, such as fines, rather than employing more officers to enforce the rules.

So close. The most effective way to tackle anti-social behaviour might be to address the causes of antisocial behaviour. But that would be even more expensive than just hiring more coppers.

Of course they’re not working people. They are leveraging capital to give them an income. That is not the same as chopping wood and carrying water.