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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: September 29th, 2023

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  • My pleasure, really hope something out of that wall of text makes something click on your end!:D

    To be honest, it was quite counterintuitive, I’d say acting actually helped me get in touch with myself more than anything, actually dropped a lot of the “etiquette” I’d adopted in day-to-day life and just started being myself. There was a slight shift in others’ perception of me, but it only went to “eccentric and mostly harmless”:)) Did, indeed, help with the conversing aspect, helped me get rid of awkward pauses and be more attuned to the conversation.

    Exactly! It’s an orderly kind of chaos, and that’s a very good point about levels of familiarity, could explain my tendency to mentally map out environments as well! Huh, my turn to thank you!

    I own a Garmin watch and their interface is pretty straightforward on the watch itself. Gives you in-depth statistics in-app, but the stress level monitor, heart rate monitor, and BloodOx read-out are all readily available. Even has some in-built breathing exercise routines.

    Again, my pleasure!:D It’s genuinely satisfying discussing about these things, not a lot of opportunities…


  • No bother whatsoever, happy to share!

    Honestly, acting has helped me with this, therapy by exposure really pays off for agoraphobia - we used to have classes in large, tall, unfurnished rooms, with ash-grey padding on all of the walls (would’ve quit then and there were it not for the large windows…), about 6 hours per day. In the evening, full-on neon lighting. Also, the increased awareness of self gained through physical exercises and acting itself takes a lot of the edge off, for some reason. It helped me reach a point where I still feel the anxiety, I still feel my body going into prep mode, but I can push through it and everything subsides fairly quickly after that. Also went through a hefty amount of therapy to solve various childhood and contemporary traumas, which regained me my confidence.

    Other than that, in more practical terms, I find grounding exercises help bring everything back into focus. I constantly listen to music when out and about, so I generally focus on that and try to get into the groove, just as yourself. Other than that, identifying random visual elements, feeling my body’s movement, focusing on my steps, on my breathing, the whole kit and kaboodle. Mine mostly manifests through physiological reflexes, like a burst of adrenaline, senses going into hyperalertness, and also through paying a lot of attention specifically to what others are doing around me. When tired and unfocused, overthinking, catastrophising, intrusive thoughts, and even hypertension come into play, so I try to get my beauty sleep as much as possible. I think I understand what you mean about something feeling off about certain spaces/situations, although I’ve honestly never identified the cause beyond an acute awareness of being overexposed, even when standing in the middle of a room, and it makes me really jumpy - this I attenuate through a sort of mapping of my space, I try to visualise where everything is and focus on the physicality of the space itself. I do go through prolonged periods of self-isolation out of a feeling of fatigue from having to face the symptoms, although I enjoy solitude, so there’s that.

    My advice would be to not force it in unreasonable amounts, just like working out. Key is consistency, not volume, so keep safe spaces close and there is no abuse as long as you keep at it. I keep my space relatively cluttered, too - furniture or decorations/stuff, I think it has to do with visual noise in my case- to aid with this, I’ve also replaced all lighting with smart lights and I use those to hone in on a mood which feels relaxing in the moment. I also use my smartwatch to monitor my vitals just in case everything takes me by surprise, I’ve had sort-of “silent” full-blown anxiety attacks, in that my body and system go haywire, while my awareness has tunnel vision, so I’m not aware that my heart is pounding, stuff like that. Then, I go into grounding mode, breathing exercises are especially useful for the silent ones.

    As a final note, I’ve found that several somewhat philosophical points have also affected my relationship with agoraphobia. I’ve learnt to appreciate the beauty of liminality, to the point where it turned into a minor fascination. Being aware of the universe’s scale helps me detach through reduction of dimensions, stuff like that. These are shots in the dark, but hey! Ya’ never know, brain’s weird!:))


  • Disclaimer: I do not have an official diagnosis, I just strongly suspect I may be on the moderate side of the spectrum, which has been confirmed by the tests I took so far.

    Had a couple of years in Uni when I played bass in two bands - blues/rock and jazzy covers. The entire “musician” experience, for me, was the point where life made sense. I would call it the moment of feeling alive in the sense that the whole context encouraged me to be as present and as ‘in the now’ as I’ve ever been. Used to lose myself in the music and the friendships, even concert preps were engaging. Guess the whole planning, gear handling, and the set-up itself tickled me in a certain way.

    Surprisingly, even my relatively pronounced agoraphobic side sort of calmed down during that period (although, admittedly, the fact that I took Theatre and acting as my Majors may have had an immense impact on that, too).



  • Good for you, your circumstances lined up in such a way as for you to already have a PSN account through the console you own. But the issues you are ignoring are as follows:

    • it is predatory to impose such a major change (and, yes, it is major) on people AFTER they have purchased the game. The ease of creating a PSN account is an utterly moot point, a paying customer should not be forced to suffer changes to a thing they, supposedly, already owned, let alone a change which basically reduces the options to “you either give us your information, or you don’t play the game ON WHICH YOU ALREADY SPENT MONEY.”

    • the more accounts you have nowadays, the more your personal data is sold around. In addition, it’s a clear demonstration of encroachment by corporations who really should have no business forcing you to sign up to their shitty platforms.

    • it’s an extra layer of DRM, and DRM is exclusively a bad thing however you cut it (DRM means you don’t actually own the thing you friggin’ bought).

    • fuck Sony and their atrocious greed. Pure and simple.