Because of Marxism-Leninism? Thats a reason. Liberals are criticised, no imperialist apologia and no reactionary shit? All of that.
But look, after longer time I can say that I feel more comfortable here, because I am not dehumanised. I am not an orc, a barbarian or monster. Its not like a agree with absolute every opinion and political stance here, but this all doesn’t matter that much for me.
I was just born there, but my ancestors were still all Germans and my Grandparents spoke genuine German (some old dialect). I have two books which show parts of my ancestors till the early 19th century, they even very rarely had children with Ukrainians or Russians and then only in the generation born since 1970s. Only my father is ethnic Russian as example. I can truly talk a lot about that little part of history, but that’s not the actual topic and probably boring as well. The fact, that the 90s were hell in the former countries of the Soviet Union contributed a lot to the decision to migrate over back to Germany.
However, somehow Germans are not willing to forgive. I don’t even know what to forgive, but they don’t like the fact, that I was born in country other then Germany. I learned German with 5 years and speak English waaay better then Russian. German is the language I use for everything, there is no accent. Reading Marx, Engels and Lenin? Of course German, it is my native language. Jesus, I can articulate myself in German better then other peers of mine, which were born in Germany.
After that many years that’s all not enough. Mentioning, that I was born there gives me various of reactions, even if I emphasise the circumstances there.
“Do you like Putin?” - Always the best question “Why didn’t you told me that you are a foreigner!?” - The fuck!? “So you are Russian?” - Germany acknowledges, that I was German and had the German citizenship since birth.
It is an unpleasant feeling. I personally never cared about that. With 18 I found out by accident that I have a Russian citizenship as well, however I didn’t care. Why should I? I though it would become handy, should I decide to travel by train from France to China through Belarus and Russia.
I ignored that, also never mentioned again somewhere, that I was born in Russia or even speak the Russian language. I just didn’t want this unpleasant reactions. No matter what I do, Germans don’t want to accept me as a German, I am still somehow a foreigner. As communist I was never bothered by that, national identities were never my point of interest.
Good, but since the war in Ukraine things escalated absurdly. I am reading about orcs, Russian barbarians and how trustworthy are those Russian-Germans actually? Aren’t they potential traitors? Every Russian is guilty of Putin, somehow also myself. My dual citizenship is suddenly a problem (I don’t even know how to dispose it lol) as well. Liberals and the German pseudo-left is acting with racism and dehumanisation, because they see it as morally OK. As long as it is morally ok, they even enjoy it.
This all is not a pleasant experience, when you are suddenly dehumanised. It is never right to dehumanise a population, but still, what did I do wrong? That’s why it feels like, that Germans are not willing to forgive.
Europeans often laugh about the US, because of racism. You know, stupid racist Americans which are talking about black, latin and white the whole time. Funny, right? That’s so stupid! The European mind cannot understand that. Not, because they are anti-racist, but why being racist only because of skin colour? Germans can be great racist towards Poles, Greeks and god forbid Turks! They are and will stay Turks forever, all foreigners you know. For me it is not comparable how as example someone from Syria is treated here. It is way worse for them, I know that. But still, being talked about, like I am not a human or a foreign entity, feels not good.
But Lemmygrad does not care. It is the same as back then around my left peer group, it never mattered. And this is something to appreciate, really.
I feel very much the same way. I was also born in eastern Europe and live in Germany. I am not Russian so i haven’t experienced the same level of racism as you but i still experienced (and especially witnessed) it to some degree. You talk about Germans not being “willing to forgive” but what do they have to forgive you for?! They should be the ones asking you for forgiveness, for the crimes their country has and continues to perpetrate against Russians.
And i could also point to what Germans have done to my own home country after 1989 that has had devastating effects on the country forcing so many to emigrate, but i don’t want to make it about me.
What really bothers me most of all is the self-righteousness and the conceit of moral superiority that many Germans have where they look down on anyone who is not a western European. They love to pat themselves on the back about how enlightened and progressive they are, how not-racist they are, how democratic they are, but all of that is surface level and just beneath that surface you can always sense what they really think.
(It even bothers me how they look down on Americans, even though everyone here knows i am pretty much as far from pro-American as you can get, but when Germans act like they are so superior to the “uncivilized” Americans when America itself is a product of European colonialism and racism, i just find that so hypocritical and such an insufferable attitude; no, you are not superior just because you have a bigger welfare state, when deep down you share the same worldview and values)
And as soon as they feel scratched they quickly turn all that liberal patronizing into very hostile cultural supremacism and racism. And this isn’t exclusive to Germans, nor does it apply to all Germans. But it is indicative of a broader problem with the culture of the imperial core, which is extremely pronounced in the most prosperous parts of Europe, especially Germany, Scandinavia (they are far from the “progressive social democratic paradise” they are often portrayed as in the US…some of the most racist people i’ve ever met were Scandinavians), France and Britain.
Anyway, the point is that this makes it hard to find like-minded people where i live, which is why i appreciate Lemmygrad so much for the contrast it offers to that. There are things that i know that i don’t agree with this community 100% on, but i always feel that at least there is a sense of comradeship and tolerance as long as you come with good intentions. And i do think that Marxism-Leninism has a lot to do with that, because of its emphasis on critical, materialist analysis and scientific thinking.