So walk away from them, or handle it gracefully somehow. It’s the same as trying to make a friend. Doesn’t everyone make friends from time to time?
Interest + effort = relationship of any kind. Find the shared interest, make a little bit of effort… or don’t and the math doesn’t work. If romance doesn’t come, you’ve made a friend.
If every individual you approach gives you a lecture you might want to check out not being around those people. Try something different.
I’ve never, ever gotten a lecture. I’ve been married for about four years, but before the pandemic I picked up 4 women in a year that led to relationships of months before I ended them when I realized there wasn’t enough there to keep me interested. Don’t get me wrong, i’ve been dumped plenty and rejected plenty. I just learned to move on from the rejection.
It’s like job hunting, it’s a numbers game and every time you try you have a chance. Every time you don’t try nothing changes.
I just can’t imagine being lectured just by approaching someone and saying hi, asking them a question that is pertinent to the scenario, and giving them a chance to speak.
If you’re approaching strangers and asking them for a date and you aren’t an adonis, wealthy or otherwise instantly recognizable in a positive way, you’re gonna get some real negative responses. No one wants some rando just asking them out, but this is not new, this is why if you go to a bar you have a wing man - being solo looks creepy.
It’s true though that I wouldn’t have dated women who are 28 or younger (seems to be the oldest of gen Z.) I’m 40. Even though i’m of another generation it’s basically been a 10% chance or less to approach someone and ask them out… but again if you don’t try it never happens. Most people are in a relationship ALL the time… the best relationships i’ve found have been by making friends first in real world circumstances (board game meetups, parties, work functions/events, hiking meetups, running meetups… you name it…) and then being friendly and literally making friends with people. If you click with someone you can literally feel it, and if you like them enough then after you’re already at least friendly acquaintances you ask them to something.
If you can’t ever make friends at a meetup or event, especially one that invites strangers and often has newcomers, the problem is you.
Sounds like a lot of games and manipulation that is way less intuitive than equal relationships.
Women don’t like it when men try to date them by pretending to be their friend. If you go into new hobbies trying to date people then that’s what your motives are, so why lie?
I’m glad men are adopting the same standards as women. Now women will need to learn to initiate relationships, and our society can move twoards a more equal one.
Games and manipulation? what the fuck are you talking about?
It’s about hanging out with people in a non dating scenario, getting to know them, then seeing if they are interested after you both know each other a bit. You don’t go in cold. You don’t try to “pick up” women this way, this is a way to meet all kinds of people in a neutral setting with no strings attached for anyone. It’s like a safe fucking space and if someone you find attractive gives you the eyes or invites you out on the side it can work. I know. I almost married a girl who invited me to her place for food 1:1 after a few board game meetups. I wasn’t going there for the fucking women, I went for friends and fun.
By being in a group social scenario everyone is expecting to socialize and meet new people. You’re sharing an interest, which means you’re likely to be friends anyway and at least compatible on a social level - and the non-sexual components of relationships are basically the only fucking ones that matter long term. Shared values and shared interests are what make relationships work. Sexual attraction doesn’t keep a marriage going when your 2 year old is up screaming at 2am because your 2 month old infant woke up for a feeding.
But anyway, keep spouting your weirdo white knight shit about how just talking to women like human beings is bad. The problem is you. It’s not normal to think about harassing women when you’re going in to simply meet and get to know people.
it’s just that you’re fragile and a disgrace. it’s revolting. the fascists are taking over. grow some confidence. we need heroes, not insecure little boys. you know what will get you laid real quick? bashin the fash.
Yes, fragility is disgracefvll veakness. To defeat the enemy ze men mvst be strong, zey mvst be heroes, zey must have vill to seize vhat zey vant. It vill to pover zat vill tvrn little boys into strong men. Zis is antifascism.
My personal experience trumps your personal experience!
This is the problem. We’re all so keen to talk, and not to listen. You’re old enough to have fucked dude’s Grandma? Congratulations you lived in a different world.
Until you approach another wrong one and you get another lecture for saying hi
This shit is actually happening
So walk away from them, or handle it gracefully somehow. It’s the same as trying to make a friend. Doesn’t everyone make friends from time to time?
Interest + effort = relationship of any kind. Find the shared interest, make a little bit of effort… or don’t and the math doesn’t work. If romance doesn’t come, you’ve made a friend.
Enough negative experiences reinforce and define behavior.
This is true for any being with a nervous system.
IDK why you think every individual magically changing is something realistic.
Unless you don’t let them.
To be honest, it doesn’t sound like you want to change. You are so resistant to it.
If every individual you approach gives you a lecture you might want to check out not being around those people. Try something different.
I’ve never, ever gotten a lecture. I’ve been married for about four years, but before the pandemic I picked up 4 women in a year that led to relationships of months before I ended them when I realized there wasn’t enough there to keep me interested. Don’t get me wrong, i’ve been dumped plenty and rejected plenty. I just learned to move on from the rejection.
It’s like job hunting, it’s a numbers game and every time you try you have a chance. Every time you don’t try nothing changes.
I just can’t imagine being lectured just by approaching someone and saying hi, asking them a question that is pertinent to the scenario, and giving them a chance to speak.
You haven’t tried dating GenZ women then.
They specifically tell you not to approach women in public.
And you know good and well that asking someone on a date is nowhere close to saying hi. Stop lying to yourself to feel right it’s embarrassing XD
If you’re approaching strangers and asking them for a date and you aren’t an adonis, wealthy or otherwise instantly recognizable in a positive way, you’re gonna get some real negative responses. No one wants some rando just asking them out, but this is not new, this is why if you go to a bar you have a wing man - being solo looks creepy.
It’s true though that I wouldn’t have dated women who are 28 or younger (seems to be the oldest of gen Z.) I’m 40. Even though i’m of another generation it’s basically been a 10% chance or less to approach someone and ask them out… but again if you don’t try it never happens. Most people are in a relationship ALL the time… the best relationships i’ve found have been by making friends first in real world circumstances (board game meetups, parties, work functions/events, hiking meetups, running meetups… you name it…) and then being friendly and literally making friends with people. If you click with someone you can literally feel it, and if you like them enough then after you’re already at least friendly acquaintances you ask them to something.
If you can’t ever make friends at a meetup or event, especially one that invites strangers and often has newcomers, the problem is you.
Sounds like a lot of games and manipulation that is way less intuitive than equal relationships.
Women don’t like it when men try to date them by pretending to be their friend. If you go into new hobbies trying to date people then that’s what your motives are, so why lie?
I’m glad men are adopting the same standards as women. Now women will need to learn to initiate relationships, and our society can move twoards a more equal one.
Games and manipulation? what the fuck are you talking about?
It’s about hanging out with people in a non dating scenario, getting to know them, then seeing if they are interested after you both know each other a bit. You don’t go in cold. You don’t try to “pick up” women this way, this is a way to meet all kinds of people in a neutral setting with no strings attached for anyone. It’s like a safe fucking space and if someone you find attractive gives you the eyes or invites you out on the side it can work. I know. I almost married a girl who invited me to her place for food 1:1 after a few board game meetups. I wasn’t going there for the fucking women, I went for friends and fun.
By being in a group social scenario everyone is expecting to socialize and meet new people. You’re sharing an interest, which means you’re likely to be friends anyway and at least compatible on a social level - and the non-sexual components of relationships are basically the only fucking ones that matter long term. Shared values and shared interests are what make relationships work. Sexual attraction doesn’t keep a marriage going when your 2 year old is up screaming at 2am because your 2 month old infant woke up for a feeding.
But anyway, keep spouting your weirdo white knight shit about how just talking to women like human beings is bad. The problem is you. It’s not normal to think about harassing women when you’re going in to simply meet and get to know people.
I have literally said that to a woman and she said that making friends with women with the intention to date them is a shitty thing to do.
It even counts as being creepy and manipulate if you didn’t intend for it to be, because the behavior is.
But tell yourself whatever makes you feel right incel.
it’s just that you’re fragile and a disgrace. it’s revolting. the fascists are taking over. grow some confidence. we need heroes, not insecure little boys. you know what will get you laid real quick? bashin the fash.
Yes, fragility is disgracefvll veakness. To defeat the enemy ze men mvst be strong, zey mvst be heroes, zey must have vill to seize vhat zey vant. It vill to pover zat vill tvrn little boys into strong men. Zis is antifascism.
I’ve never ever had that happen. And I’m old enough to have fucked your grandma when she was still young and cute.
I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but I just don’t think it’s nearly as common as Lemmy likes to believe.
My personal experience trumps your personal experience!
This is the problem. We’re all so keen to talk, and not to listen. You’re old enough to have fucked dude’s Grandma? Congratulations you lived in a different world.
And I’m still in this world. Dude I still date. I’m only in my 50’s. I’m not even as old as Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise.