the Super Bowl halftime show was pretty good, they should consider continuing the strategy of getting people who aren’t totally washed
A new thought. I keep reading about dictatorships and fascism and now my anti-depressants are doing some heavy lifting. Reading about Nicaragua, reading about Germany, and now just did a quick peruse of Belarus. And then I look at the US and I’m like… maybe I should read books about nations that recovered from fascism…
If you’re in for a tome, there’s always The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich.
Do you ever feel like Sisyphus?
Other than that, things are well. We’re getting sunlight again. Spring is coming in a month or two, I get a long weekend this weekend. I got to hug my dogs today. I ate a big spoon of peanut butter.
I have a craving to create. Some kind of moving sculpture or animation, but I have no idea what medium or how I would approach it!
Pretty amazing. Just got back from a ski trip to Park City. The skiing was great, and I saw a juvenile moose and its mom just below me while on a chairlift, and a bobcat ran right out in front of me on the Boa run in Canyons. Absolutely made my day to see all that wildlife!
I’m from Philly, it was madness! Entertaining madness at least. Folks were riding horses around and everything. People screaming, honking their horns and stuff. I forgot how we can get. Outside of that, I loved the halftime show! I’m so proud of Kendrick!
I keep saying if we can’t have anything this fucking year… at least we can have the halftime show.
Just learned about Threema. No one uses it, though. But I downloaded it and paid the $7 anyway.
I use it, FWIW. Welcome! It’s been established as the default messenger with our family/friends pretty painlessly after SO & me decided to get rid of WhatsApp altogether a few years back. Never looked back - getting rid of the Zuck messenger was an unexpectedly high increase in life quality for various reasons.
Back then I bought lots of license codes when they were like 3 bucks. Probably got some spare ones lying around, if anybody wants one. (Android only, Apple still doesn’t allow circumventing their App Store.)
I just feel emotionally fragile. My friend who told me we were through changed his mind and apologized. I understand what he’s going through because I’ve been there too, but I can’t shake the feeling everyone’s a step away from dropping me. He can apologize for shutting me down and explain how he actually meant it kindly, but I still feel like the most annoying person on the planet.
I have a D&D game with a new group coming up, as well as a queer matchmaking event. The thought of both are making me kind of sick. I’ve had multiple friendships end in a slow drama spiral. I read so much about conflict resolution and de-escalation and still, I say my piece and the other person starts ranting about how much they hate themselves and how they shouldn’t be my friend.
I just keep missing how my friend group used to be. After the vaccine became available in the US, we all took a big trip together and it was one of the nicest memories of my life. We talked about doing more trips in the future. Now I don’t know where I stand with any of them.
I’ll probably suck it up but I’m tempted to cancel both events. I really want companionship but I can only imagine myself ruining people’s self esteem.
Have you heard of 7 cups? It’s a lovely community for folks working on their mental health. I have two therapists and started medication now and it’s getting my mental state in line, finally. But before all of that I found 7 cups helpful. (https://www.7cups.com/)
I used to be a 7 cups listener. Their privacy policy is an atrocity. Be safe out there. Nothing on that platform is private.
Oh yea - defo didn’t use my real identity. It’s an open group style participation. It was helpful for what it was.
Once I understood their policy, it gave me a distaste for the service. I’m glad it was helpful to you!
Thanks, I really appreciate the suggestion. Probably not necessary though as I’m actually on my third therapist. I’ve been trying to figure out what’s wrong with me for a long time. 😓
Aww. Maybe it’s not “what’s wrong with you” and more what do you need to make coping in this world more manageable? That’s what it was for me, in a nutshell. Always happy to chat so you can message me anytime.
Thanks ❤️ I just don’t want to cope without close relationships, I guess, so I really want to know why I keep making people spiral.
Sometimes I think it’s not me, it’s them… But it’s become so many of them.
I doubt that you are making people spiral. From what I’ve experienced and observed in my own life, I think people who are dealing with shit tend to attract other people who are dealing with similar shit. And sometimes, depending on how said people are dealing with their shit, everyone’s shit can start colliding and turn into a shit storm. It’s not one person’s fault, and all any individual can do is work on their own shit and go from there.
That’s reassuring, thanks. I feel insane sometimes from the effect I have on people when I think I’ve said something normal. My therapist didn’t ask for any examples and just convinced me I’m rude af because I’m autistic and was homeschooled, but cutting out the “rude” behaviors never helped. In fact, people started melting down when they learned I’d done that.
“You stopped doing that thing I had a meltdown over? Why are you still hung up on what a dick I was?” When they’d never told me they were a dick or that they were wrong. I thought if I apologized for something, I’m supposed to stop doing it.
I just feel like I’m not appropriate to be around people sometimes because I do the right thing and everyone still has some kind of nervous breakdown.
I’ve found this to be the case over the years. If I’m in active alcoholism, that’s who I find, usw. “Broken” people seek out “broken” people, because what the normies are doing makes no sense at all.
Gentle hugs
I also really liked the halftime show. Kendrick’s a great performer and I liked all the small details.
Learned over the weekend that my sister-in-law is pregnant! Her and my brother have wanted kids for years now so it’s super exciting.
Received amazing news the other day. However, I need to back up a little bit in order to explain. My wife and I decided to move to Maine 13 years ago after learning it was our best option for raising children. The cold of winters did not, initially, bother me. Over the past 5 winters it has become increasingly difficult dealing with the cold. Physically I can no longer tolerate January/February as I once did. The cold causes me pain in my joints. I have very little body fat so that doesn’t help. Also, I love to be outdoors and the cold prevents me from it.
My children are no longer in need of me being around all the time (they can take care of themselves now). So, for the past couple of years I took a week in the middle of January and flew around the USA to visit with family/friends. This did provide me with a significant mental/emotional break in order to get through the winter. Unfortunately, travel is incredibly expensive so that had to be shelved. This has caused me to become depressed this winter…feeling trapped (cabin fever) and no solution in sight.
And then out of nowhere my biological brother tells me that he’ll be moving from the Atlanta Georgia area to either Providence RI or the Boston MA area. He’ll be making this move within the next 8-10 months. That will place him in either a 3 or 4 hour drive from my home. So, starting next winter I’ll be able to take several breaks from the harsh Maine winters by driving to stay with my brother. When my brother told me about his plans to move I had to sit down because I thought I was going to faint. Then I cried tears of joy for the next ten minutes.
That’s pretty great that you’ll get to see your brother and enjoy a break from frigid Maine winters.
I was just looking at some heated ski gear because I also get very cold, very easily, very fast. I hate it, but I really enjoy skiing and I haven’t figured out how to get the snow to stick around during the summer yet.
But anyway, there are all kinds of electric socks, undershirts, pants, gloves, etc out there that are very easy to use, with small rechargeable batteries. I wonder if those might help your joint pain, and get you back outside a little bit more? I finally bought some heated insoles for my ski boots this season and it is a game changer for keeping me out in the cold and enjoying myself. I gave a pair of heated socks to a snowboarder friend of mine and he absolutely loves them. I have a heated jacket that lets me get out on my motorcycle when it would otherwise be too chilly. Etc.
Maybe something like this would work for you?
Yeah. I’m going to start using rechargeable hand warmers and go from there. Thanks for your thoughtfulness. I appreciate it.
Good luck! I hope something works and gets you back out to enjoy yourself.
Your happy makes me happy 😁
And that, in turn, makes me happy
That’s great news, I’m excited for you :)
Thank you!
Oh, right. Some football was played yesterday. I’m just in a holding pattern waiting on the universe to provide next steps by trying to reach out to as many people as possible.
My wife and I have been down with a hella annoying flu since last Tuesday (wife) and Thursday (me). The headaches are insane, I’m barely able to do anything when the painkillers run out. Hoping it’ll improve at some point this week because I’ve not felt any better even a single time so far.
I tried to go outside for a little walk today to get some air and immediately the vibes were off - super windy and cold - so I just went home after 5 minutes :(
I’m so tired of sitting on this couch ugh
Being ‘trapped’ while you feel awful is the WORST kind of tedium. I hope you get well quickly!
I feel better yeah thank you :)
My entire family gets the flu shot every fall. Is this something you and your wife would consider?
If I may ask, did you ever suffer from any side effects? I think the flu shot is a good thing in theory, but the day after the second Covid shot I had high fever and muscle pain (it happens to a few select lucky people), and the first booster shot was even worse, so I’m reluctant to try another vaccine that’s likely closely related.
I have never had any adverse reactions to vaccines.
We are considering it for the future for sure. We’re both young though, and usually the seasonal flu is not that bad. There’s a particularly nasty strain this year, which is why suddenly it’s a real health issue for us too. I’m pretty sure we don’t qualify for free flu shots, but we can definitely see if it’s affordable.
