• piyuv@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    34
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    7 months ago

    When you’re marrying someone you’re usually not like “lets try this and see where it goes” (that’s called dating), you’re more like “till death do us part” so yes, divorce is failure more often than not. Ending a relationship, not so much

    • laughingsquirrel@discuss.tchncs.de
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      6
      ·
      7 months ago

      I can understand your perspective, but I want to offer an alternative view, maybe less bound to societal preconceptions. I married my partner for many reasons, financial, wanting to raise a child together, wanting to share my life with them… But staying married for the rest of our lives is a crazy concept for us. The marriage has its purposes, but we both know that life can change and that we could decide that we had a good time, and that now the time has come to move on. A marriage is less romanticised for us, it has practical reasons. I guess being polyamorous helps with defining new relationship ideas on many levels ;)

        • trainden@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          8
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          7 months ago

          I married my partner for many reasons, financial, wanting to raise a child together, wanting to share my life with them…

          • Captain Poofter@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            4
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            7 months ago

            None of those reasons require marriage, so it’s not a satisfying reason. I want to know why MARRIAGE, specifically? Just checking it off a bucket list perhaps?

            • Wereduck@lemmy.blahaj.zone
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              7 months ago

              It seems to me that all of the reasons they provides are all reasons to get married. Especially raising a child, given the privileges that are afforded to married parents in a lot of places (especially in the case of adoption, or IVF using a stranger’s genetic material). Something doesn’t have to require marriage for the benefits of it to outweigh the cons for a specific situation.

              The question seems to me to be kind of confusing. What alternative are you comparing it to? Some sort of local structure like domestic partnership?

              • Captain Poofter@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                7 months ago

                The post I’m replying to was acting as if they had some new wisdom from being polyamorous and their perspective on marriage. But it sounds like they’re just using it as a business move which is something a lot of non polyamorous people do as well, and nothing new. I wasn’t asking what reasons could possibly exist to get married outside of romance or whatever you’re talking about, I was asking SPECIFICALLY THEM why they bothered, with their “unique” perspective on relationships. But it seems the only actual reason they have is taxes, despite their diatribe.

        • Bahnd Rollard@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          7 months ago

          Taxes alone is a valid reason. So long as there are social, financial and legal benifits to the institution then there is no argument to have. If you feel that love or religion is a requirment that I feel your concept of marraige is outdated.

          • Captain Poofter@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            7 months ago

            No, you are a misunderstanding me. The post I’m replying to was acting as if they had some new wisdom from being polyamorous and their perspective on marriage. But it sounds like they’re just using it as a business move which is something a lot of non polyamorous people do as well, and nothing new. I wasn’t asking what reasons could possibly exist to get married outside of romance or whatever you’re talking about, I was asking SPECIFICALLY THEM why they bothered. But it seems the only actual reason they have is taxes, despite their diatribe.

            • Bahnd Rollard@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              7 months ago

              Entirely fair question and thanks for expanding, bit personal for online nobodys like us. Sorry if I came off as accusitory.

      • seejur@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        7 months ago

        In a lot of animal species, relationships are lifelong. For most of their history, humans had life long marriages in all corners of the world. Why are you calling it "a crazy concept "?