That some day all of the good things in my life could disappear, without me even doing anything. The fleetingness of real happiness and the fact that constant euphoria is unattainable. That I’m not living up to my potential, that I’m being exploited and under valued, that I’m never present for my emotions because I self medicate and distract.
Also my dad just died and I didn’t think it would affect me much because we didn’t have a great relationship. But yesterday I woke up from a dream where he was alive and the happiness I felt to see him again was immediately crushed by the relalisation that I would never see him again, and he’d miss everything from here on out. I was inconsolable, still am tbf
But also I’m in therapy and take prescribed meds that work for me, so I’m doing my best.
I totally relate to this, when I was young I used drugs to find that constant euphoria and that fucked me up even more, now I’m almost in my 40s and I lost my best years… my dad died 15 years ago and now my mom, I have just my husband and we would love having a child but I have a chronic illness and no one will give a child for adoption to an ex addict so I feel old and alone…
I’m also going to therapy and taking my meds and is helping me a little, we have to take it one day at a time!
That some day all of the good things in my life could disappear, without me even doing anything. The fleetingness of real happiness and the fact that constant euphoria is unattainable. That I’m not living up to my potential, that I’m being exploited and under valued, that I’m never present for my emotions because I self medicate and distract.
Also my dad just died and I didn’t think it would affect me much because we didn’t have a great relationship. But yesterday I woke up from a dream where he was alive and the happiness I felt to see him again was immediately crushed by the relalisation that I would never see him again, and he’d miss everything from here on out. I was inconsolable, still am tbf
But also I’m in therapy and take prescribed meds that work for me, so I’m doing my best.
I totally relate to this, when I was young I used drugs to find that constant euphoria and that fucked me up even more, now I’m almost in my 40s and I lost my best years… my dad died 15 years ago and now my mom, I have just my husband and we would love having a child but I have a chronic illness and no one will give a child for adoption to an ex addict so I feel old and alone… I’m also going to therapy and taking my meds and is helping me a little, we have to take it one day at a time!