"It’s like something from a horror movie – only it’s not!
Imagine cruising along the River Bann, cleaning up litter, and then coming across a hand poking out of a black bin bag. Honestly, imagine it…
Well, a group of volunteers didn’t have to, as that’s exactly what they encountered in the river on Friday.
‘Oh My God’, were the words uttered by one of the Kingspan team who came across the bag.
Fortunately, what appeared to be something grisly, turned out to be….well, something grisly – a discarded blow-up doll.
Posting a short video on the River Bann Cleanup page, the team described the scenes as “shocking”.
“It’s not something we have come across before, but the team from Kingspan found this on the river today in Portadown while on a clean-up,” they wrote.
“Quite a shocking experience when found floating in the river.
“It seems that this partially clothed, blow-up doll, along with an umbrella and candles had been discarded recently. Maybe a date that didn’t work out, leaving one quite deflated in the process.
“As always, the river is not a place to dump your rubbish….or secrets.”
Well done to the team for the clean-up, as always, and good luck to you as you undergo PTSD treatment over the next few months."
Well now we know where Mary got to, she’s been missing a while. I shouldn’t have left her in a bath outside my front door with a Santa hat on all over the festive period, but I took solace in that fact that someone woke upon New Years Day with a hangover and a new houseguest they couldn’t explain.
Yeah, but how the hell did she get out of my boot?
The police are running tests now.