I wouldn’t say ‘full’
It’s called a brojob and it’s totally straight if your eyes are closed
You should also wear socks just in case
I let you jerk me off, and you make fun of my tiny dick. Yeah sure, that seems fair
Sorry, I thought you were into that.
My hands are full of penis, and I’m already in heaven.
Imagine ejaculating out of all 10 of your handpenises simultaneously
that means womans have to get lesbians to avoid penises, got it
Depending. Women jack off a hell of a lot after you roll over
I like to help my lady after I finish. 🤌
So female masturbation is still sanctified. Got it. Let me just go ahead and close the door and turn on this white noise machine…
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The Lord is Come
Mark 9:13
Jesus replied, “Elijah does indeed come, and he will restore all things. But I tell you that Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him, but have done to him whatever they wished. In the same way, the Son of Man will suffer at their hands.”
That would be great. You’ll have 3 whole days to climb until he rises again.
They’ve apparently never met a one armed roofer.
Shout out to my cousin Randy!
This is why you take the elevator to heaven and just fucking jerk it all the way up.
crank that mf hog right up to the pearly gates
Who is gonna be below me? Nobody. Gonna wank it all the way up.
What if you wanted to go to heaven
But god said “your hands are full of penis.”
40 days and 40 nights in the desert with no food and you reckon Jesus didn’t rub one out to lift his mood, yeah, OK
Yes! Release first. The stickiness will help.
But what if you occasionally take a break from climbing the ladder to heaven, with your hands full of penis?
Wait until the pedo priests head about this.
It’s obviously satire, but still, maybe it isn’t
https://stopmasturbationnow.org/weather/atmospheric-masturbatory-residue-at-unsafe-levels/
Refrain, or course, from masturbation and excessive handling of the sex organs. A two shake limit during urination is in effect.
I have a very very hard time believing that this is serious, but sadly I’m not fully convinced that it is not
I should stop boiling my semen, they are beginning to notice
Holy shit.
Should People Who Masturbate Be Allowed to Vote? 457 comments
Even if you were a perfectly efficient ladder climbing robot, you still would not stand a chance climbing the ladder to heaven because of a little thing called specific impulse, which you woefully lack and this other little thing called heaven, hell and god aren’t real they were invented by humans to give false hope to other humans and through that false hope control other humans and also get wrecked theists
