

Climate Scientists:
- The lightbulb is broken, and there’s reason to believe that the ceiling might cave in
- Offers advice on how to fix the contacts, or to replace the bulb entirely, or put up struts to support the ceiling in an impassioned plea to the higher ups.
- CTO is committed already to candles, CFO wants to wait and see what happens, and CEO labels it as a marketing problem.
Somehow when I see them in pictures, I feel fine.
Somehow when I see them in person, I nope out of the room, find the biggest glass cup I can find, turn on all the lights to confuse them into settling on a wall somewhere, and then I sneak up on them without casting a shadow.
You’ll live, motherfucker, but not in my house.