I’m a long time Lemmy lurker and occasional Redditor. Since the Reddit influx, I’ve watched the frequency of shitty Reddit-type behavior, e.g., combative comments, trolling, and unnecessary rudeness, just sky rocket.
I’m happy to have more content on Lemmy, but I wish the bad actors and assholes would have stayed on Reddit.
Yes, I realize the irony of posting this on a new community that’s basically a Reddit transplant.
The thing with the combative comments/rudeness, in my experience, mostly looks like someone being direct and then a bunch of readers being offended by the bluntness. Whether it was on Reddit, here, or forums and Usenet back in the day. So many problems with “tone” in text is caused simply by the reader reading it in a combative tone that the writer never intended.
Add to that a large part of the Internet (Americans I can only presume) are the biggest moral prudes around.
Like they’ll see someone say fuck in a conversation and be like “guys that’s totally uncalled for, let’s be civil here” when really it’s just a bit of fucking emphasis behind a word and causal as fuck.
Non-prude American here. My hypothesis is that younger-ish folks are raised paranoid of their every word being recorded and played back to their parents. There’s a weird tone to the under 25s that feels like every word had to go through legal.
Perfect example: Oh my gosh!
Who the fuck says, “Gosh?” I think I might have heard 1 grandparent say it back in the early 90s. It’s, “Oh my god!” There’s punctuation to the word. Gosh sounds like you’re trying to whisper so your clergy doesn’t hear you being naughty.
So, yeah, we hate those fucking cunts, too.
Putting that entirely on the reader is unfair. The author of a comment or post has some level of responsibility to manage their side of the communication as well.
There’s a reason that, as a species, one of the first things we invented after digital communications was emoticons and eventually shorthand terms to convey emotions (lol, lmao, wtf).
Body language, audible tone, syllable emphasis, or the rest of the damn near endless list of minor things we use to communicate, we needed to make sure we could avoid being accidentally combative by default.
So often when I get into a conversation about veganism it ends with the other person saying I’ve been an asshole when I’ve just been direct and honest… :(